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Writer's pictureSabrina

The Pros & Cons of Being an Au Pair

Updated: Dec 30, 2023

The Au Pair experience is different for everyone, and there are pros and cons to each individual's experience. However, there are some things that every Au Pair can expect to encounter. To help you prepare, here are the pros and cons of being an Au Pair.


Photo Credits: Torsten Dederichs

Your Work Schedule


Pro: Free Time During the Day


When you are an Au Pair, odds are you are taking care of the kids before and after school. Thanks to their school schedule, you will most likely have the normal work day hours (8:00am-3:00pm) to yourself. This means you get lots of opportunity to explore the city/town you are living in during the day when everything is open. You get to be outside when the sun is shining and check out shops and cafes during the daylight hours.


You also may get an unexpected day off now and then. If the grandparents stop by for an surprise visit or the kids end up going to a friends for a last minute after school date, then you may get a text letting you know that you do not need to work that evening/day. This could mean a nice break, or create a 3 day weekend for you to go off an explore another part of the country.


Con: Always Being on Call


Since your main job is to care for the kids while their parents are at work, it might mean getting a call in the morning that you are needed to work during the time you had planned to be off. If the kids are sick, school gets cancelled, or it's a bank holiday, you will most likely be needed to step in and take care of them. This mean you sometimes have to change your plans last minute. It also means working a longer day because you are with them from morning till night.


Photo credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya

The Language Barrier


Pro: Learning a New Language


Being an Au Pair may mean having host kids that do not speak the same language as you. You will quickly learn that communication is necessary in this role and this will motivate you to learn their language faster. You also learn faster because will pick up on the repetitive words your host kids use, watch movies in their language, and find yourself using words that you hear their parents consistently saying to them. If you are teaching them English, they will probably be excited to teach you their language as well. Living in a new country where you need to know a different language to get around and interact with others also means putting your language skills into practice every day.


Con: Lack of Communication Can be Stressful


If you are an Au Pair who does not speak the same language as your host kids, situations will arise that can be very stressful on the both of you. It can be difficult to explain to your kids why they can not do something, why a decision they have made was not okay, or even why their parents are not home yet. It is also extremely difficult to find out what happened if they get hurt or are upset.


This lack of communication can also make it hard to maintain a position of authority and/or respect. Since they do not understand you, it can be easy for them to ignore what you are trying to tell them or pretend that they do not understand even if they do.


Photo Credits: Alexis Brown

Making Friends


Pro: You Can Make Friends From Around the World


If you are in a bigger city, or your host parents know another family with an Au Pair that they can introduce you to, it can be easy to make friends from around the world. Making friends with another Au Pair means having someone who understands the challenges of the job. It can be really reassuring to have someone who can empathize with everything you are dealing with; the job, the language, the living situation, homesickness, etc...


Con: The Job Makes it Hard to Meet People


In general, new friends are usually made at school or at work. But, if you are not studying, your job is only working with your host family, and your hours off are during the times most people are out and about... you will have to put in extra effort to meet others and make friends. This means really stepping out of your comfort zone and actively looking for events to go to or people to talk to.


If you are in a smaller city, making friends can be difficult, especially if they don't speak the same language as you. There may not be many events you can attend, or any language courses you can join that will allow you to meet people. And, if your host family does not know any other families around who currently have an Au Pair, then they wont be of help introducing you to anyone.


Photo credits: Volodymyr Hryshchenko

The Family Gamble


Pro: You Create a Real Connection with Your Host Family


You may get an amazing host family. Personally, I loved my host family, and I still think about and miss my host kids a lot. We had a lot of fun and learned a lot about each others cultures and language. It is great when you find a family you connect with. Of course, this does not mean it will be perfect all the time. Different struggles will come up now and then. But, if you are comfortable with them and have a good system of open communication, then it makes the job and your experience so much better.


Con: You May Not Match Well with Your Host Family


I have heard many stories of Au Pairs moving abroad and not getting on with their host family. Some are as simple as they were not a good match, and others were on the much rougher end. Just like any job, it is possible things may not work out, or you get kids that are a bit too much for you to handle.


To insure you are a good match with the right family, be thorough when you go over and agree on expectations during the interview process, and be honest with what you are looking for in a host family and an Au Pair experience.


Photo credits: Christopher Jolly

Living Arrangements


Pro: Free Accommodation


As an Au Pair, one of the things that usually comes with the contract is room and board. This means you will have a roof over your head without worrying about this as an expense. You may even have your own apartment above the family's garage, or live a block away from your host family.


If you are living in the same house with your host family, you should be provided your own room. This also means not worrying about paying utilities such as electricity, water, or even laundry. Living where you work can make things easy because you don't need to worry about transportation to and from your job and you can essentially roll out of bed and already be at work.


Con: It is Hard to Separate Work from Life


Living where you work can take its toll. While you may have your own room in the family's house, you still need to exit that room to use the bathroom, living quarters, and the kitchen. Since your family will be home when you are 'off', it can be hard to separate work from personal time. It can especially be hard for the children to understand when you are off, as they are excited to see you and probably will want your attention.


Photo credits: Joshua Harkon

Living in a Different Country


Pro: Living Like a Local


One of the main reasons most people become an Au Pair it to travel to a new country, or learn about a different culture. Living in another country is much different than simply traveling there for a weekend. You learn so much more about what life is really like, the food people really eat, social norms they abide by, activities that are popular with the locals, and more. You become a local yourself.


You are also living with a local family. This means really getting to understand and be apart of everyday practices and traditions that are important to people who live there. You get to see so much more than just the surface level that has been decorated for the tourists.


Con: Homesickness


When you are living in another part of the world for an extended length of time, you will find yourself starting to not only miss your family and friends, but your everyday comforts as well. When you have a hard day and crave the things that usually comfort you, you may find that these things are not readily available to you in this part of the world.


You may not be able to find the things you normally eat when you are at home, and some of the things you normally do may not be an option. Your friends and family are a million miles away, and talking with them on the phone is not the same thing as being with them in person.


Photo Credits: João Ferrão

Building Your Resume


Pro: The Job Looks Great on a Resume


An Au Pair job can look great on a resume. Not only were you trusted to live with a family and care for their children, but you developed many other skills along the way. Maybe you learned soft skills such as patience and communication. Maybe you picked up some hard skills like a new language or lesson planning if you were teaching your host kids English. All these are great additions to your resume.


The fact that you lived and worked abroad in general also boosts your resume and is a great talking point for future interviews. People who have lived in other countries bring a variety of skills to a new job such as cultural sensitivity, a global perspective, showing that you are not afraid to step out of your comfort zone, and more.


Con: It's Not Always a Solid 'Work' Reference


Since you were working for a family, it can be strange to add this to the "previous employers" section on your resume or a job application. There is no company name or organization address you can add, and the family you worked for may be viewed by a potential employer as a 'family/friend' reference as opposed to an 'employer/manager' reference.


Unless it is for another Au Pair job, using your host family as a reference can also be strange because they are not simply thinking of you as an employee. They won't only be giving you a reference in regard to how well you did your job, completed tasks, or followed rules/workplace practices. They are probably taking everything into consideration, from how clean you kept your room to how you acted in the morning before you had your daily coffee, because your relationship with them was much more than just a staff member and boss.


Photo Credits: Ibrahim Boran

Money & Expenses


Pro: You Have Very Little Expenses


A big perk of being an Au Pair is that the majority of jobs not only include accommodation, but meals as well. These are big expenses that you do not have to pay. Moreover, you are receiving free room and board to live in another country. Some families also have the option for you to use a family car on your days off, or might help you obtain a bus pass to get around the city. Of course, every host family has different things they can/cannot provide, so it will be up to you to weigh the pros and cons of each contract.


Con: The Pay


Because so much is provided for you, the pay you receive in most cases is considered 'pocket money'. Depending on your spending habits, you may use the majority of this money for fun and/or travel. This means there is not really an opportunity to save money to utilize for when your Au Pair job has come to an end.



Conclusion


Just like every job, being an Au Pair can have ups and downs. While everyone's experience is different, I really believe that the experience itself has more pros than cons. If you are thinking about becoming an Au Pair, I encourage you to go for it. Of course, do your research, but you will never know if you never try.



Credits

The photos in this post are not mine. Thank you to the photographers who uploaded their photos for free use on Unsplash. They have been credited under their respective photographs. 


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