Working as an Au Pair is a great opportunity if you love working with kids and want to live abroad. There is so much I wish I knew, before I became an Au Pair, that would have helped me better prepare. While everyone’s job responsibilities and overall experience will differ depending on their host family and the country they work in, there is a lot of general information that can set you up for success. To help you understand what an Au Pair is, how to find a job, what it’s like working as an Au Pair, and more, this post will provide you with everything you need to know about working as an Au Pair.
Table of Contents
About the Au Pair Job
What is an Au Pair
An Au Pair is an international worker that provides childcare in exchange for room and board. They assist the parents in caring for the children and help with other tasks such as; cooking, cleaning, or basic household chores.
The Difference Between an Au Pair and a Nanny
An Au Pair is considered an unskilled worker, who works short-term for a family abroad by taking care of their children. Au Pairs receive room and board and a small amount of pocket money in exchange for their work. A Nanny is considered a skilled/full-time job that makes a higher salary. Nannies are usually licensed and have extensive childcare experience.
What is a Host Family
A host family is the family who hires an Au Pair to live with them and care for their children.
Countries Au Pairs Work
The most popular locations for Americans to Au Pair are; Australia, New Zealand, and many countries in Europe (namely; Italy, France, Germany, and Spain). However, Au Pairs are utilized globally, and you can find jobs around the world.
Requirements to be an Au Pair
While Au Pairs are usually women between the ages of 18-30, there is technically no global requirement to be an Au Pair. What it really depends on is the qualifications you need to obtain the proper VISA that allows you to work in the country you are interested in.
Au Pair VISA Requirements
The work visa you need will vary by country. Some countries, like the Netherlands, have programs that grant specific work permits for Au Pairs. Other countries, like Italy or France, allow you to work part-time as an Au Pair while you are studying on a student visa.
Regulated VS Non-regulated Countries
Some countries, like the Netherlands, are accustomed to having Au Pairs and consider it an actual job. Thus, they have regulations about how many hours you can work or how much money you can make. However, there are countries, such as China, that have no government regulations directly associated with the Au Pair role. This does not mean you can’t work in these countries, but you need to do the proper research to make sure you are working legally and not being taken advantage of.
How to Find a Job as an Au Pair
Finding a Job as an Au Pair
You can get a job as an Au Pair by finding a host family on your own or using an Au Pair placement agency. For a step by step guide on finding a job as an Au Pair, check out How to Find a Job as an Au Pair Abroad.
Finding Your Own Family VS Using a Placement Agency
Neither path guarantees a “better Au Pair experience,” and nether is the wrong way to do it. What it really comes down to is if you are happy doing the work on your own or if you want to pay to have support through the entire experience.
How to Find a Host Family
You can find a host family on your own by creating an account on an Au Pair website, creating an Au Pair profile, and reaching out to families that you are interested in.
The Best Au Pair Website
The best website for prospective Au Pairs is subjective, but I personally reccommend Au Pair World. I found my host family through Au Pair World. They are free, organized, trusted, vet their host families, and there are a lot of host families on their website. However, you need to remember that they are not an agency so they are not part of the process and have no effect on your Au Pair experience.
You can also try using one of these 9 Free Websites to Find a Job as an Au Pair.
Filling Out Your Au Pair Profile
When making an Au Pair profile be honest with the skills you have and what you are looking for. Add any skills and experience in; childcare, domestic labor, first aid, language, and travel abroad. Remember, parents are looking for someone they trust to care for their children, so make sure you advertise yourself as responsible and keep it professional.
For a detailed breakdown of everything you should add to an Au Pair profile, check out How to Fill Out Your Au Pair World Profile.
Finding an Au Pair Agency
There are hundreds of Au Pair agencies and travel companies that offer Au Pair work programs. The agency you choose will depend on the country you want to go to and the type of support you are looking for. To find an agency, all you need to do is a quick google search.
If you are looking to work as an Au Pair in Europe or Canada, you can check out the list of agencies provided in the following posts; How to Work as an Au Pair in Europe and How to Work as An Au Pair in Canada as an American.
The Best Au Pair Agency
Again, this depends on what you want from an agency and what country you want to work/live in. I highly suggest reading reviews of past Au Pair experiences before choosing an agency or paying for a placement program.
Your Resume
When creating an Au Pair profile or resume, it is important to list all your previous experience working with children; babysitting, camp counselor, tutoring, substitute teaching, etc… You can boost your resume by adding any first aid certifications, other languages you speak, travel experience, and volunteer work.
You should be open and honest about the type of tasks and work you are looking to do; housework, laundry, cooking, driving the kids to school, grocery shopping, etc… Don’t forget to add why you want to be an Au Pair.
The Family Interview
You need to be having at least a couple of video calls with the parents before you accept a job as an Au Pair. During this time you should be clarifying any questions you have regarding your work responsibilities, pay, working hours, etc… You should also get to see your accommodation, their home, and meet the children. This is the time to figure out the vibe of the family are are planning on essentially moving in with.
If you are unsure what questions to ask, or the topics you should be discussing, here is a list of 107 Questions to Ask Your Host Family Before You Become an Au Pair.
Working with a Host Family
How to Know if a Host Family is Legitimate
Some websites will vet/verify the host families, which provides a base level of safety, but it is not foolproof. Overall, it is up to you to do your own research and make sure the families you are talking to are legitimate.
You can do this by making sure their profiles provide detailed and accurate information and have photos of the family. Ask the family for past Au Pair references who you can reach out to. You should also interact with the family multiple times over video call. During this time you should not only discuss the job but get a tour of the house and meet the children.
Pros & Cons of Finding Your Own Family
Finding a family on your own means you have complete say on who you reach out to, respond to, and choose. It also means you can be as picky as you want and cast a wide range of who you want to work for and where you want to live. Of course if you are not sure what you are doing, this process can feel a bit overwhelming and requires a lot of work on your part. If things do not work out with your host family then you are on your own.
Agreeing on Expectations
To have a good Au Pair experience, you need to make sure your expectations of the job line up with the family’s expectations. You should discuss your tasks and responsibilities, work schedule/hours, pay, accommodation, etc… But you need to be specific. To you, cooking dinner may mean boxed mac and cheese on the stove, but to them it may mean a full Sunday Roast each week. If your expectations are not aligned then neither you or your family are going to have an easy time.
Communication is Key
This is a job where you need to advocate for yourself. If you are not getting paid on time, you need to speak up. If something is not working, you need to sit down with the parents and discuss what can be changed so that it works for all of you. Open communication will help you have a positive experience.
Host Family Horror Stories
Yes, I have also read the crazy stories of Au Pair’s being overworked or having a horrible time. In my opinion, a lot of stories boil down to lack of setting clear expectations before arrival and not communicating during the job. Of course, even the best laid plans go awry.
The good thing is that if you find yourself in a situation with a host family where you are uncomfortable or feel overworked… you can leave. There is nothing stopping you from packing up and going. Making sure you have some money saved up to help get you out of these situations is a good idea.
Using an Au Pair Agency
How to Know if an Agency is Legitimate
To make sure and Au Pair agency is legitimate you need to do your research. You can check past Au Pair reviews on third party websites, find out if they are certified, see if they have legitimate partner agencies, and check if they are a member of accredited Au Pair associations such as the International Au Pair Association.
Benefits of Using an Agency
Safety, support, and assistance with transitioning abroad are some of the reasons you may want to use a placement agency. Agencies do the bulk of the work for you by placing you with, or helping you find, a family they think will be a good match. They walk you though what you need to know, how to obtain your VISA, provide assistance while abroad, and more. They also make sure you receive proper payment and the agreed upon benefits of the job.
Cost of an Au Pair Agency
Agency fees vary depending on what they provide their Au Pairs and what fees the host country requires from them. Most fees do not usually include things such as; flights, VISA costs, background checks, international drivers licenses, health insurance, other traveling costs, etc… It is important to understand the breakdown of the fees you will need to pay and what is included or excluded in those fees before choosing an agency.
What do Agencies Provide
The rates/fees set by an agency often reflect how much support they provide. Almost all agencies guarantee an Au Pair family matching assistance, visa support, assistance getting to your host country, 24/7 emergency support while in country, and assurance that you will receive the correct payment. Some agencies also offer; family rematch if your first host family does not work out, health coverage, resume and interview support, and more.
Pros and Cons Using an Agency
The biggest con of using an agency is the fees, but you can find agencies that are affordable. Using an agency makes it easier to find a verified host family, but it gives you less authority of which families you have the ability to connect with or choose. They help you with all the visa paperwork, make sure you are getting paid on time, and that your family sticks to the agreed upon contract.
Working as an Au Pair
Tasks & Responsibilities
The main job of an Au Pair is caring for the children. This means anything from getting them ready for the day, taking them to and from school, making them lunch, helping with homework, reading stories at bedtime, dealing with behavior issues, etc.. Some Au Pairs will also help with other household chores such as, cleaning, laundry, and cooking.
The specifics of your job will come down to what you and your family agree on before you start the job. When determining these tasks, be specific. If they ask you to do the cooking, find out which meals you are expected to cook, what kind of food you will be cooking, who you are cooking for, etc…
Work Hours & Days Off
Sometimes your work hours will depend on what your visa allows you to do. For the most part, you will make an agreement with your host family on how many hours per week you will work and when your days off will be. The more you work, the more pocket money you should get.
Schedule Changes
Even if you have a set schedule, the nature of the job means things can change and you need to be flexible. If one of the kids gets sick you may need to stay with them for the day so the parents can go to work. If it’s a snow day or a holiday, it means adjusting your days to entertain the kids. It can feel like you are always on call.
Money You Make
The pay an Au Pair receives is referred to as “pocket money”. You will make less than you would with a normal job because food and lodging are included. How much money you make will depend on your agreement with the family. Always agree on how much you will be compensated, and when/how you will receive compensation, before taking the job.
Driving as an Au Pair
Some families require their Au Pairs to drive because they need them to take the children to and from school. A lot of countries drive manual cars and some drive on the left side of the road. You might also need to apply for an international drivers license depending on how long you will be in the country. Make sure you are comfortable with this before you say yes.
The Language Barrier
It will make things easier if you speak the same language as your host parents (at least on some level). The children however, may not speak your language and this can make things challenging, especially when it comes to implementing rules and ensuring safety. After some time, you will learn to communicate with each other through gestures and emotions while you learn their language and they learn yours.
Work & Life Balance
Living and working with your host family means that you will spend tons of time together. Because of this you will both want to ensure a positive relationship. Unfortunately this makes it hard to properly define boundaries when they ask you for something (such as working more hours than you agreed on) and you are unsure how to say no.
Living where you work also makes it hard to escape work. The kids will love having you there, and they might be comfortable waking you up in the morning on your day off just because they want to spend time with you.
Pros & Cons of Working as an Au Pair
I think the best thing about working as an Au Pair was getting to really live like a local abroad. I got a chance to really connect with my family and get a true feel for the city. I experienced traditions and customs like a local does and not only through the lens of a tourist.
The hardest parts of the job was that it was hard to create a work life balance since I was with the family so often. It was also difficult to deal with behavioral problems when my children spoke a different langue than me and the parents and I had different methods of correcting behavior.
For a full list of pros & cons of the job, check out; The Pros & Cons of Working as an Au Pair.
A Day in the Life of an Au Pair
Everyone’s Au Pair experience will differ depending on their host family and what country they work in. If you want more information on what day to day life is like as an Au Pair, check out my experience Working in Italy as an Au Pair.
Living as an Au Pair
Housing
As an Au Pair, room and board is included. This means you should not be paying for housing or utilities (i.e. water or electricity). Host families offer different housing situations. Many offer a private room inside their house for you to use and others might have an option for you to live outside the home.
Au Pair Housing Red Flags
You should never be sharing a room with your host children. Some families will try and offer this and it’s a huge red flag. This means no personal space or privacy from the children and that you will basically be working 24/7. As an Au Pair you should have your own room.
An Au Pair’s Room
The house belongs to the family but the room you are given should belong to you while you are living there. This means you should feel comfortable and the space should be yours alone. No one should enter without your permission and you should come to an understanding with the children that they need to knock before entering. It’s possible you will share a bathroom with the kids and if it’s an en suite, make sure you side locks.
Living in Someone’s Home
For the first month or two it can feel weird living in someone else’s home (and maybe that feeling never goes away). You may feel like you don’t want to leave your room because you don’t want to intrude on other people’s space. Trust me, the family is expecting you to come sit in the living room with them or make yourself a snack when you are hungry!
Don’t be shy, it’s your house now too. You can always have a conversation with your host family about what you can/can’t use in the house or what their expectations are with you living in their home.
Separate Accommodations
You can find Au Pair jobs where you are not living inside the same house as the family. Some families will have an in-law suite, own a second property, or have you live in an apartment in the city. I personally lived in a hotel that my host family owned. It really just depends what the family has access to. Living outside of the home allows you your own space and makes it a lot easier to create a separation between work and life.
Extra Perks
Some families have the means to offer their Au Pairs extra perks. This could mean anything from transportation support (i.e. providing a bus pass or use of a family car) to use of certain amenities (i.e. a pool or family gym pass). My family was kind enough to pay for language classes for me and I had access to a cappuccino machine that I used daily.
Meals & Cooking
Food is included in some way when you are an Au Pair. Maybe it’s that you plan and eat all your meals with the family or that you receive an extra allowance to buy your own food. Whatever that looks like, make sure you work out the logistics before you arrive.
Holidays
Holidays can be bittersweet because you get to experience them in a new location but are still away from your own friends and family. You get a chance to partake in new traditions and learn about new holidays while sharing some of your own. Expect to be working more during the holidays, since school will most likely be closed and the children will be home.
Making Friends
Making friends can be a hit or miss depending on your location. If you live in a big city with an expat community or your host family has friends who also currently have Au Pairs, it can be easy to meet people. If you live in a small town that is mainly made up of locals who do not speak your language, it can be harder.
I reccommend joining a language class, attending public meet ups, looking into Au Pair facebook groups in the area, or trying to connect with people through apps like Bumble BFF. Your experience can get better when you have other people (who you don’t work for) to get out and do things with.
Finishing Your Au Pair Contract
Saying goodbye
After spending months bonding with a new family and building your schedule into theirs, saying goodbye can be very bittersweet. On one hand, it’s exciting to be heading back to your own family or moving on to the next adventure. On the other, you are leaving a second family behind and trying to explain to your host children why you won’t be seeing them on a daily basis anymore.
Adding the Job to Your Resume
An Au Pair is a real job that you can put under your recent work experience. When describing the job, you can adapt the experience to fit the new role you are applying for. If you are applying for a childcare role, focus on the tasks you completed while providing direct childcare such as; teaching English, implementing behavior management, planning outings, providing first aid, etc…
If you are applying to another type of role, focus on other aspects of your job such as how you created schedules and set routines. A job as an Au Pair means being flexible and adaptable to last minute changes in routine. It means developing interpersonal skills such as; empathy, conflict resolution, communication, and time management. Living and working abroad shows independence, initiative, and global experience.
Discussing the Job in Interviews
Being an Au Pair provides great talking points about working and living abroad. Talk about the challenges you overcame in terms of language barriers and cultural shocks and how you adapted to new social norms. Discuss working with people from different backgrounds/cultures. Talk about how you grew as a person from this experience and what you will take with you to your next job.
Becoming a Reference for Your Host Family
Your host family may ask you to be a reference for their perspective Au Pairs. It is entirely up to you if you want to do this. If so, you may get a few calls or emails from their “soon to be Au Pair” who you can help prepare for the job.
Using Your Host Family as a Reference
Asking your host family to be a reference can be very helpful if you are planning on being an Au Pair for a new family or looking to remain in the childcare field. However, it can be strange if you are applying to a professional job and it can be hard to connect them to future employers due to time zones. I personally did not rely on my host family as a professional reference. But, if you use them or not is up to you (and to them).
Finding a New Au Pair Job
Now that you have Au Pair experience, it will be even easier to find another Au Pair job because perspective host families can see that you know what you are doing. Add your experience to your resume and/or your Au Pair profile and start looking for your next job!
Conclusion
If you want to work abroad, and love working with children, then an Au Pair job is a great option. There are tons of things to know about the Au Pair role and I hope that my experience helped provide you with everything you need to know. Have you worked as an Au Pair? What was your experience like? Please share your thoughts in the comments below!
