I worked as an Au Pair in Italy and experienced my fair share of pros and cons. Of course, every Au Pair experience will differ depending on the country you work in, your living situation, and your host family. However, there are some things that every Au Pair can expect to encounter. To help you prepare, here are the top 20 pros and cons of working as an Au Pair.
Table of Contents
Top 10 Pros of Being an Au Pair
1. The Free Time to Explore
If your host kids go to school then you will have a large chunk of the traditional business hours to yourself. This means free time to try a new cafe when the shops are open or get outside and explore while the sun is still shining. You don’t have to keep putting things off until the weekend and can explore the town during less crowded hours of the day.
2. You Live Like a Local
Living in another country is much different than simply traveling there for a weekend. As an Au Pair you will get to experience your host city on a deeper level. You will take part in local events not advertised to the tourists, learn the layout of the city like the back of your hand, and become a regular at your favorite coffee shop. More importantly, the time you spend with your host family will give you a behind the scene look at what local life is really like; how the school systems work, what meals are usually cooked and eaten at home, what the locals really do in their free time, etc…
3. You Have a Second Family
You will spend a lot of time with your host family. This means that you will inevitably create memories and develop a strong bond. Eventually they will start to feel like a second family. Many Au Pairs stay connected with their previous host families long after they have finished their Au Pair contract.
4. You Can Live in Your Dream Destination
There are Au Pair opportunities around the world and you can be picky about where you want to go. You can connect with families in cities as big as Paris, France or Sydney, Australia. You can look for jobs in smaller towns on the outskirts of New Zealand or the counties of Ireland. A job as an Au Pair can give you the opportunity to experience living in a location that you have always dreamed about.
5. You Don’t Pay for Room & Board
Au Pairs have their accommodation expenses covered. Not having to take care of an apartment or pay rent saves you a lot of time and money. Depending on your contract, most of your meals are probably provided for you or your grocery costs are covered. Living where you work makes things easy because you don’t need to worry about transportation to and from your job.
6. It’s a Fun Job
There are not too many paid jobs where you can show up to work in comfortable clothing and play games with kids. Of course, caring for children is an important responsibility that can be challenging. But it’s also a job that enables you to be creative and have fun. You can color, go to the park, cook dinner together, play games, and read bedtime stories. You are also bound to make some unforgettable memories with your host kids.
7. You Can Leave When You Want
Yes, you made a commitment with your host family. However, if it’s not what you were looking for or you decide this is not the right place for you, you do not need to stay. You can leave at any time. This is not a job that you are stuck in or have to do. Career wise, it’s a gap year job that you have control over and can decide if you want to add it to your resume or not.
8. The Language & Culture Opportunity
If you are living in a country where you don’t speak the language, you have ample opportunity to learn and practice that language in your day to day routine. You will learn faster because you will pick up on the repetitive words your host kids use, watch movies in their language, and find yourself using words that you hear their parents consistently saying to them.
You also get the chance to experience culture in a different way. You get to participate in holidays, birthdays, and other traditions. You get to shop at local grocery stores, cook traditional foods, and get accustomed to every day social norms. You not only see how it really happens but are apart of it in real time.
9. The Added Job Perks
Some host families will include/offer other perks for their Au Pairs. This can range from transportation support (a buss pass or ability to use the family car) to facilities use (a family pool or sauna you can use). My family paid for Italian languages classes for me, which was super nice of them and really helpful.
10. Travel and Free Excursions
Yes, traveling around the country on your time off is a huge perk. But for this point, I am considering the travel and excursions you might have to do for the job. If your family is going to an amusement park for the day and they want you to watch the kids while there, then they will pay for your ticket. If they are going on a weekend getaway to another country and want you to come and take care of the kids, then they will pay for you to do so.
Yes, you are still working. But you might get the opportunity to visit new locations, eat new foods, or participate in cool activities at no expense to you. The experience is what you make it.
Top 10 Cons of Being an Au Pair
1. It is Hard to Separate Work from Life
Living where you work can take its toll. While you may have your own room in the family’s house, you still need to exit that room to use the bathroom, living quarters, and the kitchen. Since your family will be home when you are ‘off’, it can be hard to separate work from personal time.
2. Childcare & Parenting Styles Might Clash
As an Au Pair, you obviously need to respect how the parents want to raise their children. This can be very difficult if the parent’s rules effect your job. For example, if you work for a parent who constantly gives their child everything they ask for and does not set consequences… then you will probably be dealing with children who don’t respect rules and you will have no way to get them to behave or stop them from throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get to have cake for dinner.
3. You May Not Match Well with Your Host Family
I have heard many stories of Au Pairs moving abroad and not getting on with their host family. Sometimes it’s as simple as they were not a good match. Other times it’s things like… a family taking advantage of an Au Pair by expecting them to consistently work way over their contract hours. Either way, your host family really does make or break your experience.
Before you accept a job with a host family, make sure you have a written agreement of the tasks they expect of you and what your compensation will be. If it does not work out, you can always choose to leave and find another host family.
4. Always Being on Call
Because you work with children, things happen. If the kids are sick, school gets cancelled, or it’s a bank holiday… you will most likely be needed to step in and help take care of your host kids. This mean you sometimes have to change your plans last minute. It also means working a longer day because you are now working from morning till night.
5. Kids Don’t Always Understand Boundaries
Not all children recognize what it means to be an Au Pair and they may view you as a relative who just wants to hang out with them. This means you need to be really good at setting rules and drawing lines from the start, or they won’t respect you when you need to uphold rules. It can especially be hard for the children to understand when you are on a day off, as they are excited to see you and probably will want your attention. Where to draw the line on certain things can be tricky, especially because you will probably grow to love them like siblings and they will see you the same way.
6. The Language Barrier
If you are an Au Pair who does not speak the same language as your host kids, situations will arise that can be very stressful on the both of you. It can be difficult to explain to your kids why they can not do something, why a decision they have made was not okay, or even why their parents are not home yet. It is also extremely difficult to find out what happened if they get hurt or are upset.
This lack of communication can also make it hard to maintain a position of authority and/or respect. Since they do not understand you, it’s easy for them to ignore what you are saying or pretend that they do not understand even if they do.
7. It Can be a Confrontational Job
This is a job where you will need to advocate for yourself. If you found this job on your own (aka: did not use an agency) then you need to make sure you are upholding your side of the agreement with your host family and remind them if they are not upholding their side. It can feel really awkward if your host family forgets to pay you and you need to go remind them. It can feel strange if they ask you to work during your free day for the third time in a row and you need to say no. No matter how uncomfortable you feel, you need to advocate for yourself!
8. The Pay
Because so much is provided for you, the pay you receive is considered ‘pocket money’. Depending on your spending habits, you may use the majority of this money for fun and/or travel. This means there is not really an opportunity to save money.
9. Making Friends Can be Hard
If you are taking classes while working as an Au Pair, or your host family has friends who also have an Au Pair, then this is a great opportunity to meet people. However, if this is not the case, then it can be challenging to make friends. Au Pairs usually work when other people are getting out of work for the day. The language barrier can also make connecting with others difficult. In smaller towns, there may not be many events you can attend, or any language courses you can join, that will allow you to meet people.
You will need to really step out of your comfort zone and actively looking for events to go to or people to talk to.
10. There is a Built-in Homesickness
When you are living in another part of the world for an extended length of time, you will find yourself starting to not only miss your family and friends, but your everyday comforts as well. When you have a hard day and crave the things that usually comfort you, you may find that these things are not readily available to you in this part of the world.
What makes homesickness even harder is that you are working a job where you watch a family consistently interacting with each other. You watch them celebrate birthdays together, see the parents comfort their kids if they get hurt, and witness family memories being created. Yes, you are there to join in, but it is a bittersweet feeling that makes you miss your own family even more.
Conclusion
Just like every job, being an Au Pair has its ups and downs. While everyone’s experience is different, my experience as an Au Pair had more pros than cons. Have you worked as an Au Pair? What was your experience like? Please share your own pros and cons in the comments below!
